June 12, 2015
Today is the day that I have been waiting for since the whole miscarriage started... I started my menstrual cycle! I know, normally women hate when they get it. I was looking forward to it coming because that is the first step for us to start a family again.
I was over the moon when I got my menstrual period and the first thing I did was to text John. Haha! I know... sending John that as a text must be wonderful, right? Well he was very happy to hear it because he also knew that this was the first step that needed to happen in order to start again. After I texted him, I texted my sister and talked to my mom. Yes, the whole family was looking forward to me getting my menstrual period :)
After all that, I redownloaded the fertility app that I used before. This way I know when I am ovulating. Everything is getting on the right track. Our plan is to wait maybe another month or two before we start trying again. Knowing that we can start soon has made me feel a lot better. It hasn't been easy still... every time someone announces a pregnancy or I see pregnant people I start to get a little envious. I know I shouldn't, but it is just happens. However, when I realize what I am doing I quickly stop and remind myself that I soon will be able to have a baby.
On a positive note, I have been having dreams that I was pregnant again and we weren't even trying. Positive thinking! It will happen! I even was able to finally erase the chalkboard entry that I made the day I was suppose to see the baby for the first time. The chalkboard has been in one of our guest bedrooms and I have been purposely avoiding that room so that I wouldn't see the chalkboard. Yet, knowing that I know I could start trying soon I finally had the strength to go into the room, see the chalkboard and erase the entry.
Hopefully, my next entry can be an announcement that we are expecting again! Positive thinking!!!
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